


That Time I Kissed My Husband's Boyfriend's Wife

by Evilkitten3



Series: temporarily untitled kakavegebulchi series [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, affectionate butt pats, eighteen has never given a fuck about anything ever in her life, goku and vegeta aren't even a little subtle, goku overshares sometimes, krillin has an existential crisis, marron is going to cause problems on purpose, secret relationship except not really, trunks thinks everyone knows and vegeta thinks it's a secret and they're both horribly wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25319332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilkitten3/pseuds/Evilkitten3
Summary: It takes time for the group to adapt to certain changes. Mainly because the four of them had kinda sorta forgotten to say anything about it in the first place. Whoops. Or, Marron learns some Top Secret Information that might not actually be that top secret.
Relationships: Android 18/Krillin (Dragon Ball), Bulma Briefs/Chi-Chi, Bulma Briefs/Chi-Chi/Son Goku/Vegeta, Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Chi-Chi/Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Past Yamcha/Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Trunks Briefs/Son Goten
Series: temporarily untitled kakavegebulchi series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814017
Comments: 26
Kudos: 59





	That Time I Kissed My Husband's Boyfriend's Wife

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I’m working on a longer (and, er, feelings-ier) story for Dragon Ball, but I wanna get something short and fun out first. I’ve had the idea for this for a few days now, and – much like the other story I’m working on – Eighteen was not actually supposed to be here. I have no control over her; she’s comes and goes as she pleases. Also, I call Bra ‘Bulla’ because her real name makes me a tad uncomfortable and this is technically a correct translation. Enjoy!

Marron notices first. Well, more accurately, Marron makes a joke after hearing Trunks refer to Chichi as “Ma” and he unintentionally spills the beans by telling her that it hadn’t actually been an accident. In his defense, he hadn’t known it was a secret.

“No, seriously,” Goten says, frowning at her. “You didn’t know? I thought everyone knew. Saiyans are like that.”

“You two aren’t,” Marron points out. Trunks and Goten look at each other and then back at her. “Ah. Aren’t you guys a little too young for…?”

“Not like that!” Trunks shrieks, waving his hands in front of his face like her implications were a pack of invisible mosquitoes. “Just, y’know. Not _not_ like that.”

“Right,” she says flatly. “Cuz that clears things up.” Trunks and Goten look relieved, and Marron wonders what it must be like to have friends that weren’t idiots. Given how much Trunks’ father claims to despise idiocy (despite, according to both her parents, being somewhat prone to it himself), it’s rather surprising that he hasn’t–

_Ohhhh_. Maybe he doesn’t hate stupid as much as he says he does. Or, maybe, stupid is easier to excuse in a son than in an archrival/totally-not-crush-except-actually-secret-boyfriend.

“Dad says Mom’s fine with it,” Goten tells her, which actually only makes her worry, because Son Goku’s “reading the room” skills are about as good as Vegeta’s “treating other sentient beings like they have more value than dog crap stuck to the bottom of an old boot whose previous wearer died by falling into a well full of worms” skills. Although, to be fully fair, Vegeta had been getting a lot better (according to her dad, at least).

“If he says so,” Marron replies, hoping she doesn’t come off as _too_ dubious and making plans to go straight to her parents when she got home. Sure, it was _probably_ fine, but who knew in this crazy world.

“My daughter thinks your husband is cheating on you,” Eighteen says, and Krillin closes his eyes and prays that whichever god governs tact decides to bless his wife. A lot. Chichi blinks at her and, amazingly, does not explode (thank you, god of improved short fuses).

“With who?” she asks after a moment. Not the question Krillin thinks he would have gone with, but far be it from him to comment. Or take part in this discussion in any way, shape, or form.

“Vegeta,” Eighteen tells her, and Krillin braces himself for a short-fused explosion. Chichi just sighs.

“Goku, dear!” she calls, and her husband trots into the room, looking surprised to see them. Krillin wonders at that for a moment before realizing that Goku looks like he just got out of bed.

…In the middle of the day. Huh.

“What’s up, guys?” he asks, and Eighteen opens her tactless mouth once again to ask him directly, except that Chichi beats her to it.

“Have you an’ Vegeta been messin’ around in public?” she asks, and Krillin dies a little inside. Okay. Cool. Nothing new there.

“Don’t think so,” Goku blinks. “He left once you started yellin’ for me, though. Said he didn’t wanna deal with–” he glances at Krillin and Eighteen, slightly abashed. “Well. Y’know.”

“I assume it was something along the lines of ‘the bald one and his toaster wife’,” Eighteen says, far too used to Vegeta’s Vegeta-ness to be offended. Krillin frowns – he hasn’t been bald for years.

“He used Krillin’s name, actually!” Goku says happily. “I mean, he got it wrong, but I’m pretty sure it was on purpose.”

“Huh,” Krillin muses. He’s actually kind of flattered. If Vegeta’s intentionally getting his name wrong, that probably means the guy’s embarrassed to admit he knows it, which in turn could potentially mean that Krillin has graduated from ‘enemy’ to ‘guy I don’t care about’ to ‘guy who is bald’ to ‘guy who used to be bald and who I will continue to treat as though he is still bald in my crusade against shaved heads’ to ‘guy I can scream at without having to worry about accidentally exposing too much personal information because he’s cool and not a snitch’ to ‘guy whose kid hangs around with my kid and my rival’s kid sometimes’ to ‘possible acquaintance – further investigation required’. He might even be nearing ‘friend(?) that I will take several more years to begin acknowledging as a fellow sentient being’ territory!

…Vegeta might need therapy, Krillin thinks. He doesn’t say it out loud on the off-chance that it somehow finds its way back to the Saiyan in question and gets him killed (or worse, demoted back to ‘guy who is bald’ – even the Dragon Balls wouldn’t be able to fix that).

“So you two _are_ sleeping together?” Eighteen asks, jerking Krillin back to the reality that his best friend is apparently cheating on his wife and she’s somehow fine with it.

“Yeah, I guess,” Goku says, like he isn’t dropping a bombshell big enough to make Buu jealous. “Usually just after trainin’. Apparently it’s normal for a good fight to make Saiyans kinda horny.” He frowns, then. “’cept Vegeta’s always weird about it. Gets mad when Bulma calls me his boyfriend. But I am, I think. He just doesn’t wanna say it. He’s fine with Chichi bein’ Bulma’s girlfriend, but I can’t be his boyfriend? Plus, he sends a lotta mixed signals, y’know? I thought we were gonna come back here ‘n do it after trainin’ today but then Chichi’s here so he says he doesn’t wanna do anything beyond suck–”

“OKAY!” Krillin interrupts, because this is a lot to process all at once and also because he really doesn’t need to know that Goku hadn’t noticed him and Eighteen because his rival had been giving him a blow job. He also does not need to think about Vegeta and Goku having sex because if he does, he’ll think about it every time he sees them, and there is no way that would end well for him. “How come Marron knows, though? And– hang on, Chichi, you’re gay?”

“Meh,” Chichi shrugs. “Could go either way, really. Me an’ Bulma kept meetin’ up while Goku and Vegeta were off beatin’ each other up an’ figured we might as well get in on it too, y’know?” He doesn’t. Krillin doesn’t think he could see himself with anyone other than Eighteen at this point in his life, but he’s never been one to judge.

“Is it all four of you, then?” Eighteen asks. Krillin can’t tell if she’s as unsurprised as she looks or if she doesn’t care enough to have an actual emotional response to the situation.

…Eighteen might need therapy too. He’ll actually have to bring that up and some point, because even if she gets annoyed, she’s his wife and he loves her and gosh darn it he wants her to be happy.

“Nah, Bulma’s more like a sister to me than anything,” Goku dismisses. “An’ I think Vegeta ‘n Chichi just like yellin’ at each other. ‘N sometimes bein’ mean about things together. I think Bulma called it ‘bitchy bottom solidarity’, but I don’t know what that–”

“Goku!” Chichi hisses, cheeks pink. “I am _not_ a bitchy bottom! I’m a bitchy _vers_ ; we’ve been over this.” Aaaand Krillin’s back to wanting to die. Sweet.

“Tell Bulma that, not me!” Goku protests. “Anyway, I dunno how Marron knows. Maybe one of the kids told her?” That… makes sense, actually.

“Is Piccolo a part of this?” Eighteen asks, and everyone looks at her.

“Piccolo doesn’t have…” Chichi starts, somewhat awkward. “I mean, I don’t think he–”

“Nah, he ain’t involved,” Goku interrupts cheerfully. “I know Gohan called him ‘dad’ once, but I’m pretty sure it was an accident. ‘Sides, Piccolo’s not old enough to be his dad, remember? He’s only like four years older than Gohan is.” That’s true, Krillin thinks, even if it’s incredibly weird. Goku suddenly looks incredibly worried. “Chichi, if Piccolo is Gohan’s big brother figure, does that mean we gotta adopt him? I wouldn’t mind but I think he–”

“I think things are fine the way they are now, dear,” Chichi cuts him off, looking exasperated. “And I don’t think you should bring this up to Vegeta. You know he an’ Piccolo are ‘sit in the corner an’ sulk while everyone else has fun’ buddies.” Krillin decides to lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Somehow, out of everything that’s happened in the past half hour, this is what garners the most attention.

“What’cha doin’?” Goku asks, craning his neck over the table to see his friend.

“My life is a soap opera,” Krillin declares. “And I’m a background character. I’ll be getting assassinated by mobsters because of my connections to one of you. My death will be a driving force in your story, Goku.”

“It already was,” Goku points out. “You’re why I went Super Saiyan, remember?” Krillin does, in fact, remember. He hadn’t particularly enjoyed the experience.

“Tell my wife I love her,” he says to one of the ceiling beams. Eighteen sips her tea.

“She’s having an affair with the toaster oven,” the cyborg says. “The guilt from your murder is what causes her to break it off and dedicate her life to avenging you. The plot twist is that your killer is her evil twin sister from the future who fell in love with you. You’re brought back to life by the toaster oven’s sacrifice and the cheating thing is never resolved.”

“Who raises Marron?” Chichi asks, wishing she had popcorn.

“Piccolo,” Eighteen and Krillin say together. The three laugh as Goku stares at them, somewhat bewildered. He wasn’t even sure what a soap opera was (an opera with soap, maybe? But how did the soap get involved? Did the actors all carry soap? Were the actors made of soap? The props? Maybe a soap opera was an opera where all the characters had just gotten out of the shower).

“Krillin’s still on the floor,” he points out. Chichi gives him a friendly pat on the arm.

“Go catch up with Vegeta, honey. He’ll be annoyed that you haven’t hunted him down yet, an’ Bulma hasn’t fixed up the Gravity Chamber after last time.” Goku nods and flies off.

“Last time?” Krillin asks, fairly certain that he doesn’t want to know.

“Goku ‘held back’,” Chichi says with a wink, confirming his suspicions. Eighteen sighs and decides to take pity on her beleaguered husband.

“We’ll let Marron know not to worry,” she assures the other woman.

Marron takes learning the concept of polyamory fairly well, in Krillin’s opinion. She also takes her discovery to everyone she knows. So… that’s a thing. The reactions are varied.

Tien throws up. Most likely because he doesn’t like Vegeta and never will (the feeling is mutual, but they both seemed to enjoy sending barbs at each other). He congratulates Chichi and Bulma on their excellent tastes in women and tells Goku to reevaluate his life.

Chiaotzu blinks, shrugs, and pats Tien on the back.

Yamcha, astonishingly, just laughs. “Kiddo, I _know_ ,” he says, wiping away an imaginary tear. “I tapped that first.” Vegeta decks him once he finds out, but it’s worth it. It’s not for a while that Marron realizes he isn’t just referring to Bulma, and they all learn way more than they ever needed to about Trunks’ conception.

Piccolo claims not to care. His reaction suggests that he already knew and would have preferred not knowing. Piccolo is a lot of things, but good at hiding strong emotional responses has never been one of them (odd, given how stoically he tends to present himself), so he’s probably telling the truth.

Seventeen wonders why she hunted him down to tell him about other people’s sex lives and quietly hopes his kids never meet anyone he knows, ever.

After that, Marron kind of runs out of people to tell (who don’t already know), because if Gohan knows then Videl knows, and if they know then Pan knows, and if Pan knows then Bulla knows, and that’s pretty much Marron’s whole social circle right there.

Well, at least hanging out with Trunks and Goten had turned into something fun for _her_ for once.

“I thought she knew!” Trunks protested as his dad glowers at him. “Really! I thought _everyone_ knew! You’ve had the hots for Pops since–” a ki blast slams into the ground near his feet and Trunks decides to cut his losses and flee. Goten has already vanished, that little traitor, so his options are A) find Mom, B) hope Goku shows up, or C) play therapist for his dad because the guy can’t go two minutes without repressing every emotion he’s ever had.

Fortunately for Trunks, Goku does indeed show up. Less fortunately, he makes his entrance by grabbing Vegeta, slinging him over his shoulder (and patting his butt, which, uh, _ew_ ), saying “I’ll be takin’ this” (double ew), and flying off while Vegeta yells at him. Somewhat scarring, admittedly, but far from the worst thing that could’ve happened (one time, Trunks had walked in on his mom calling his dad “Shnookums”, which both of them would forever deny, and he insisted it was the most traumatizing this he’d ever seen).

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This is the first KakaVegeBulChi ficlet I wrote. And the first Dragon Ball fic I completed, I believe. It’s not quite perfect (I don’t always know how to end stuff; really gotta work on that), but I think it’s pretty good. Feeling a tad under the weather today, though, so I probably won’t post it until tomorrow. Also, Goku and Chichi’s accents are hard to work with… they don’t talk exactly the same, but it’s similar. Hope you enjoyed!


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